(no subject)

It's October, and the leaves are still green.  Even the weather fights change here.  

I keep moving. 

This week, I ran for 1 hour and worked 60.  But if anyone were to ask me what it is I do, I run. 

All the things I've said all week are true.

When I said those things, I wasn't sure but now I am certain. 

I am unclenching my fists.  I like the way sunshine feels bouncing in my hair. I like the way the wind swishes against the nap of my neck.  I like the throbbing sound of my feet, and the way the ground moves, shocked, every time I step.  I like the way my face feels as it flushes with exhaustion-- relieved.  

I can get through it. I can get through anything. If I just keep moving, I can run forever.


I'm on the cusp of cancer and gemini

-4 Elements
Your true zodiac sign is Cancer!

The Cancerian character is the most perplexing of the signs. Cancerians can range from the timid, shy, dull and withdrawn to the brilliant, friendly and famous. Cancerians run the entire gamut of human emotion.

Cancerians possess strong paternal and maternal instincts. Fundamentally conservative and home-loving by nature, they appreciate the security of a home-base in which to retire when the stresses of life become too much to bear.

Cancerians have an unemotional demeanor, appearing uncompromising and obstinate. This is the facade they use to mask an insecure nature. Their intimates, however, may see a different character, one with sympathy and sensitivity to others.In their personal relationships they are a mixture of toughness and tenderness. Emotional, romantic and sentimental on one side, and tenaciously possessive and loyal on the other side. Even when they have affairs, their first loyalty is to their partner and family.

They are rather close minded and opinionated. They have a retentive memory, and rarely forgive slights and hurts. With a tendency toward chronic complaining, a Cancerian will never let you forget an error. They are driven by their emotional nature, and, in this respect, can be the best and the worst of friends.
The overall nature of Cancerians is deeply emotional. Although private and reserved, they possess sensitivity and sympathy. Rarely will a Cancer stand on pretense. What appears to be a front is nothing more than a protective shell. Within this tough armor often resides an intuitively compassionate individual yearning for a deep exchange of love and understanding.

Did this description fit you well? Did you enjoy my test? Please rate it and feel free to shoot me some feedback!!
Please remember that this test is merely based on your answers, so check out this site for your actual zodiac sign according to the sun's current path through the constellations. http://www.hermograph.com/science/zodiac.htm

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Elements
Link: The Real Zodiac Sign Test written by katylove on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

(no subject)

I call you in the middle of the night. The ocean swollows all the starlight. Sheets of black and gray sway hours away from us.
We both dream in shades of blue--- of ocean, sky, and happy tears from homecomings. I fumble in the dark for some brightness because you aren't there. Foggy, street lights aren't much help. The windows,  yellowed with light. Waves of sound--your voice-- coming through the receiver. But I can't see you.

I can't see anything at all.

(no subject)

I think I've never seen so many trees, so many uncertain shades of green.  The air is  saturated with the smell of greens, lillies, and hibiscus.  It is easier to breath.   I'll run further on stone and earth than concrete. I'll run past the yoga and tea shops, past the sushi bars, past the brick and glass buildings that stretch into golds and blues skyline.  I've never seen a waterfall in the middle of a city, but here it is. And I've never seen so people dancing on rocks for no reason. I've never seen roots of trees growing this way-- curling around themselves like the hands of a newborn baby.

I like it here.

I've come a long way.

In August, I had 22% body fat.
I now have 13% body fat.


I look basically the same, but I can really really see a difference in my performance. My endurance is excellent. I have gone from running 3-4 miles to running 9-10 miles. The furtherest I've run recently is 12 miles. I saw an flyer for a 1/2 marathon and 10K run in Anderson, South Carolina. I would love to run a 1/2 marathon.  If I start training now, I am 100% confident that I could complete it.

Either way, I am going to need to invest in some kind of  workout clothing. The swinging motion of my arms while running actually gives me a brush burn just below my arm pits.


I'd also like to take some kind of dance or aerobics class once or twice a week.  I am beginning to get itchy for some kind of new activity. Running and going to the gym is fun, but every now and then, I want to switch things up a bit.

In other news, Rob is leaving for South Carolina on June 1st. I think South Carolina will be much more condusive to our lifestyle than Buffalo. There's a gym and dance studio across the street from Rob's apartment in Greenville, and since it's warmer, I will be able to run more consistantly through out the year. Plus, Rob has a friend Columbia that competes in Strong Man Competitions, so Rob could easily get involved with that, if he wanted.

I hope that I can find a job there. I really do.


A true friend stabs you in the front

I believe in negative energy. Generally, I ignore and avoid people who radiate negativity and strive to bring others down. Mostly because these people DO bring me down. The best week of my life was probably CLI. There was so much warmth, support, and acceptance that retreat. The people I met there are incredible, kind people who I admire and respect. The positive energy that those people radiated had stayed with me for quite sometime.

I am sensitive person. I always have been. I try to fight it, but sometimes this feeling comes over me, like a darkness spreading inside, jet-blood of sadness, like an invasion in my heart. Okay, I'm dramatic too. But I feel the tears on my cheeks before I have the time to blink them back. I bite my lower lip, and bury my face in the nearest softness. I get overwhelmed easily. I get overwhelmed to a fault.

I have a problem. I am currently in a situation where I am forced to spend time with two people who are judgmental, backstabbing and fake. I have tried my best to make the best of the situation. I am polite. I am nice. I've minded all my p's and q's, and then some. Ultimately, it has made no difference. I am still treated like a bug under a microscope. I've tried to developa thicker skin, and just ignore it. I can't. Despite my best efforts, I still get upset when people make snide comments or treat me in a way that I feel is rude, mean or in any way unfair. As stupid as it sounds, my feelings are really hurt and I feel like I can't stop hurting.

My question is how do you deal with people like this? Confronting the aforementioned people and standing up for myself would only result in drama and would place a significant amount of stress on someone I truly love. But this is draining me. My self-esteem sinking and it is beginning to effectme. Between school, my mother's illness, work, and my own personal struggles (all things I cannot change), I cannot handle being around this kind of negativity.

What do I do?

(no subject)

Empowering Women in Sports

Contact Sports and Violence Against Women

Another aspect of sports and women is the violence against women associated with contact sports like football, basketball, rugby, and ice hockey. The case of O.J. Simpson has trained the spotlight on the connection between male athletes and violence against women.

Mariah Burton Nelson, in her book The Stronger Women Get, the More Men Love Football, points out that coaches of these sports often exhort players to perform better by telling them not to be 6 4 sissies" or "girls." She quotes rugby songs that describe violence against women, and talks about women-degrading language used by players of contact sports. Players ridicule the opposing team by calling them "girls." Being good at these sports, in other words, is associated with putting women down. Women are not seen as fellow athletes to be respected.

While these athletes talk about women in violent, degrading terms, are men athletes more likely to commit violence against women? A recent study of student-athletes at ten Division I universities showed that while male athletes made up only 3.3% of the male university population, they were 19% of the students reported for sexual assault. Of the male student-athlete S reported for sexual assaults, 67% were football or basketball players.

Another study by Mary Koss and John Gaines at the University of Arizona also suggests there is a link between men athletes and violence against women. According to a survey of 530 undergraduate men at the University of Arizona, men college students who participated in formal athletics were slightly more likely to feel hostile towards women, and to engage in sexual aggression, than other men. The best predictors of sexual aggression and hostility to women were high alcohol and nicotine use.56

Yet college and professional football players who commit sexual assault are often given preferential treatment by police, judges, and sports authorities, according to a Washington Post article. For example, the NFL usually does not suspend players who have been convicted of sexual assault, domestic violence, or other violence, and these players often do not lose lucrative endorsement contracts either.57

By encouraging boys to become aggressive, violent athletes, and by encouraging girls to cheer for them, we perpetuate the cycle of male aggression and violence against women.

(Empowering Women in Sports, The Empowering Women Series, No. 4; A Publication of the Feminist Majority Foundation, 1995)

Annoying things to do in a library

Someone posted this on the discussion board for LIS571. I have a few librarians on my friends list so I figured I would repost it here!

Annoying Things to Do in a Library
A library is a somewhat easy place to annoy the people sitting around you, but for those of you with less then stellar creativity, we have made a list of things you can do...

1. Read out loud. Very loud. And slowly.

2. While pointing to a very simple word, like 'the', ask the person next to you if he/she can pronounce it for you.

3. While looking at your book, turn so you?re facing the person. Then, peer over the top of your book, and say "PEEKABOO!!"

4. Put down you book, and look over and start reading the other persons book, and, either 1) say "Ooo. Nice book." or 2) when he/she looks at you, quickly pick up your book and act like your reading it.

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